Phelps Schmelps

Ok, I didn't come up with that catchy title all by myself. I saw it on MSNBC. It was about an article where J Lo is upset that all the world's focus is on Michael Phelps when she is training for a triathlon and has two babies. I can totally see her point. I mean, it must be really hard to watch over the nanny that takes care of those kids around the clock while probably eating lettuce and other rabbit food and working out like a mad woman. I'd be pretty cranky too.

But I've got her beat. Try going to a disgusting public bathroom with a potty-training toddler and a baby. And in a tiny stall obviously engineered by a man who doesn't have children none the less.  Now that's an Olympic event.  But let's face it, even without kids those stalls are too dang small.  I mean you have to stand on the toilet to even get out.

I remember the days when Little J couldn't walk and Miss C was potty training. Try hauling one kid under your arm (because the stroller doesn't fit in the stall and your toddler needs the door closed for privacy), lining the toilet with TP one handed, pulling down the pants of a toddler, again one handed, sit said toddler on the potty while carefully trying to prevent her from touching anything, coax her to go already since it takes HOURS when they are just learning, get her off the pot, pull up her pants and then hold her up while she insists on flushing with her foot (because of course that is how she watched you do it a million times before). Yeah, and that sitting on the potty while trying not to touch anything is the biggest challenge. If you can successfully land them on the TP without it falling into the pot first, then I bow down to you. Oh, and of course this is a timed event. If you aren't fast enough, there is a hefty penalty. I think you all know what I'm talking about.

But now it's an all new Olympic event. Little J can walk. So try to do all of the above with him walking around and wanting to touch everything. And I do mean everything. Not to mention the fight that ensues because Little J wants to flush the potty when Miss C obviously has rights to it. One day they are going to go Fight Club style right there on the bathroom floor. That would just take the cake.

Phelps Schmelps.

I'm also reminded of the day that "J" asked me what he was supposed to do when he was out with Miss C by himself and she needed to go potty. He then followed up with a "Do I just send her in the ladies room by herself?" I mean he said that so innocently. Honestly. Yeah, that's a great idea to send a 2 1/2 year old into a public restroom by herself. Now, Miss C can maneuver the potty at home but she doesn't have to line it with TP first.  Although for a long time she wanted to line every toilet with TP....even the one at home.  For awhile she made a point to announce, "And remember, don't touch anything."  Besides, she has a stool at home to help her out.  She's actually pretty good for only being 2 1/2. But not that good.

Anyway, I digress. Speaking of Olympic events, cleaning should be another. But I've smartened up on that one. Instead of me participating in the event, I'm training my kids for the Summer Olympics in 2020 and 2024. I think Little J is going to be a gold medal contender. That kid loves the vacuum.  See what I mean?!

That vacuum was on too.  Hey, I might as well get a clean floor in the process.

He also likes getting a paper towel and wipe messes up. While Nana was here, he spilled his milk on the floor. She gave him a towel and told him to clean it up. And he did it! I was shocked that he understood what she meant. Ever since then, he will periodically go up to the counter and whine for a paper towel. What a good boy. Miss C likes to do her fair share as well. Her speciality is dishes and dusting. Give that girl a dust mop and she is one happy camper. In a few years I'll actually be able to sit back, watch Oprah, and eat my bon bons. Apparently that's what mom's do all day anyway, right?!

And just for kicks, here is an out take from the vacuuming.  I wish I was quick enough with the camera to have caught the moment right after this.  But while I was shooting this one, I was thinking to myself, "don't stick that up near your face."  Well, guess what?  He did.  Fortunately I put the camera down in time and got over to him before he was too traumatized.  I mean, I need him to like to vacuum.  I'm such a good mom.  Sacrificed the funny moment to help my kid.